dpmckee

Author: David McKee

  • Screw Intensity: The Lazy, Rebellious Guide to Starting the Gym

    If you have watched one more “influencer” on Instagram screaming at you to “destroy your muscles” or “wake up at 4:00 AM to ‘crush it’,” stop right now. Do not pass go. Do not buy their $300 PDF guide.

    They don’t care about you. They care about clicks. They care about their algorithm ranking. They are showing you the highlight reel of an advanced, often pharmaceutically assisted, body, while you are sitting there wondering why you can’t get off the couch after a ten-hour workday.

    It is up to you to care about you.

    If you are a beginner, the fitness industry is not designed for you. It’s designed to intimidate you into buying shortcuts. But you don’t need shortcuts. You need to start slow, you need to be smart, and most importantly, you just need to show up.

    Here is the no-nonsense, rebellious guide to starting your fitness journey.

    1. The “Show Up” Method: Lower Your Expectations

    The biggest reason people quit in the first two weeks is that they start too hard. You go in, crush yourself, can’t walk for five days, and decide the gym is hell.

    The Fix: Your only goal for the first two weeks is to step through the door and walk back out. Seriously.

    • Go and do nothing: Drive to the gym, walk in, walk for 10 minutes on a treadmill, and leave.
    • Why? Because you are building a habit, not a physique. A 10-minute habit is better than a 2-hour fantasy.
    • Wear whatever: Don’t spend $200 on matching gym gear. Wear comfortable clothes. People are too focused on their own bodies to look at you.

    Rebellious Action: Next time you go, if you feel intimidated, look at the hardest-working person there. They started exactly where you are—feeling awkward and out of place.

    2. Ignore the Free Weights Section (For Now)

    When you walk into a “big box” gym, you are immediately confronted by the “iron temple”—a corner of the gym filled with grunting people lifting heavy metal, looking like they want to eat you.

    The Fix: Ignore them. Go to the machine section.

    • Machines are designed for beginners: They are safe, they fix your range of motion, and they prevent you from injuring yourself by trying to impress someone who doesn’t exist.
    • Do one set: Seriously, only one set of 10-12 reps on a few machines (chest press, leg press, lat pulldown) is enough to trigger change in the beginning.
    • Use your phone: Look up the machine’s instructions or use that time to watch a quick YouTube video on how to use it. No one cares that you are learning.

    Rebellious Action: Put on headphones, play your favorite guilty-pleasure music (even if it’s K-pop or 80s rock), and enter your own bubble. The world can wait.

    3. The 10-Minute Rule: “Too Busy” is a Lie

    Influencers love to say, “No Excuses,” while they literally make a living at the gym. For you, this is a hobby to help you live longer.

    • If you have 10 minutes, you have a workout. A short, 15-minute walk or a quick set of push-ups is 100% better than zero minutes on the couch.
    • Consistency beats intensity. Showing up 3 days a week for 20 minutes is better than going once for 2 hours and needing a week to recover.

    4. How to Overcome “Gymtimidation”

    Everyone feels like they are being watched. Here is the truth: Nobody cares.

    No one is watching you struggle to figure out the leg press machine. They are checking their own form in the mirror, watching themselves on TikTok, or worrying about their own insecurities.

    • Go during off-peak times: Early morning, late evening, or mid-afternoon are generally quieter times.
    • Be a regular: The more you show up, the more you become “part of the furniture,” and the anxiety vanishes.

    5. Nutrition: Don’t Make it Complicated

    You don’t need to buy special shakes. You don’t need to eat raw egg whites.

    • Just eat more protein: Seriously, that’s it. More chicken, more beans, more eggs.
    • Hydrate: Drink water. If you feel dizzy, it’s probably because you didn’t eat or drink enough, not because you are “weak”.

    Summary: Your 30-Day Rebellion Plan

    1. Days 1–7: Just show up. Go to the gym 3 days this week. Spend 15 minutes max doing light cardio (treadmill/bike). Leave.
    2. Days 8–14: Try 3 machines. 1 set of 10 reps. Very light weight.
    3. Days 15–30: Aim for 2 sets. If you can do 12 reps easily, then increase the weight slightly.

    The Takeaway:

    You are doing this for you. Not for a photo, not for validation, but for your own strength and mental sanity. The gym is your space, and you belong there just as much as the muscular guy in the tank top.

    When you’re ready, read this…

    Stop scrolling NOW. Go put on your shoes and get to the gym.

  • The Fallout of Filing for Divorce

    The decision to divorce is probably the biggest decision I have made, even overshadowing the marriage itself, as its impact on my life and the lives of my family will see the biggest sea change ever. I can look at my life as the series of actions based on decisions I’ve made over my lifespan so far. Making different choices going forward may be one of the keys to having a better life.

    My reason for filing for divorce is not out of vengeance or an admission of failure. I think it is a way for me to find personal peace. I am not at peace with this relationship. I don’t have affection. I feel inordinately responsible for a family that is changing; the kids will be gone in the near future and why should I pay for a home for a woman who is not someone I am emotionally close too?

    I do want the freedom to date, but I also want the freedom to build my financial, emotional and future by myself or with someone else if I choose to collaborate. Finding a partner who exemplifies the friend, lover and confidant I crave depends on me being single.

    My soon-to-be-ex is watching and listening to the memories of our marriage through our children. She has kept a meticulous record of the children through the years online, even earning recognition for her blog in her hometown of the Republic of Korea.

    I can’t regret the way my life has gone so far as long as I am capable of may new choices. The choices I make

    I can’t help but think that she is intentionally or unintentionally communicating something with me by playing these memories so I can hear them. She played a video of my youngest daughter’s birthday from several years ago. I heard her singing happy birthday to her and probably me and my oldest who then went by Jinna. (more about that later)

    She has also played a soundtrack to our fracturing relationship that includes Korean and American love songs that share an emotional impact on us. Bombi is not a shallow woman. She is very smart. She is complicated. I admire her and respect her, but I can’t work with her. Still, I can ‘t help but relate to her when I hear her playing sad music that seems to indicate mourning and hurt in a way that I have done in the past. This includes similar songs from the 80’s like ‘Just Once’ by James Ingram, ‘Didn’t We Almost Have it All’ by Whitney Houston, and ‘How Am I Supposed To Live Without You’ by Michael Bolton.

    This is just one aspect of our divorce that I am going through. Another involves cars of all things.

    Bompi’s Santa Fe, the 2013 model I bought when her 2001 model failed to make it over the continental divide during our trip from San Diego to Millington. The luxurious SUV may be suffering serious mechanical issues after 12 years of superb service. It is sitting at the Hyundai dealership where it faces up to 10 issues that Goodyear said it was not able to diagnose.

    What does this have to do with our divorce?

    It goes to the heart of why I fled for divorce to begin with, our lack of communication. I wonder what it will mean to our divorce if we start communicating about the disposition of the Santa Fe. I feel the divorce is threatened by discussing solutions to this problem, or it is the best way to parse out the marriage from a future friendship.

  • Navy Photography